Remembering to live

I recently had a lovely sit down with my inner elder self who had asked me to make more memories -- live life more profoundly and presently so that when I am older and unable to physically do as much, then I can reflect and relive the memories that bring my heart joy.

The inspiration was great, but then I got busy, and before you know it, 6 months had passed.I wasn't making memories, I was surving the work stress, home renovation stress, and focusing on the next school day rather than being in the present moment.

Now, I recognize that my tasks do not define me or my self worth. But I would prioritize the tasks and each time one got scratched off I would feel a sense of accomplishment that I was not getting by avoiding the list and spending time and energy living. It was only at the end of day that I would give my focus and attention to my family. Sure, I was available during the day - but it might have come with a slight tone of resentment or, more likely, distraction.

But through the years of learning and growth I have been moving through, I realized that all of it - the work, the deadlines, the family, the chores, the errands, the laughs, the cries, the walks... ALL OF IT was LIFE. The ups and downs, the good and less good, the upsetting and activating... this was life - and it only goes in one direction. The adventure is what is happening every day.

I was avoiding the guilt of not making special memories by being busy, by humming and hawing over timelines and budgets. But then it all clicked - that as long as I felt that making memories had to be an extracurricular/special experience, I will never really appreciate the true gold that appreciating the full day had to offer (yes, even the banal moments of life are filled with gold). So I made the conscious shift to (over a period of time) change my muscle memory... the email can wait, I will take my dog for a walk. The next chapter of this book/post on social media can wait, I am going to the pool with my son. Catching up on work can wait till tomorrow morning, tonight I will hold my partner's hand and talk.

Making memories depends on being present - and being present depends on our ability to see ourselves

for the good bad and zany. If we can accept ourselves, then we can truly be present with who we are in the

moment we are in, and go forth into the adventure that is offered to us. And all of that relies on seeing,

loving, and choosing ourselves.

Work does not give me purpose. My tasks do not give me value. Being distracted does not make memories. Being present, choosing myself, living life no matter how it shows up.... that is how I plan to thrive from now on. Tasks will happen in between the moments of Life.